Sometimes we want to do something that involves ourselves and our partners. Sometimes our partners don’t want to do those same things. Sometimes we have to compromise.
Sometimes we think we and our partners don’t want those same things… and then we just talk about it and realize they pretty much do!
Then action can be taken and dreams can come true!
I sat down with my boyfriend and we talked about the state of our home, our ideal living environments, and how to move forward from there.
We each came up with five words to describe our ideal homes and why those specific descriptors are important to us.
They are important to me because when spaces are clean and open and bright and tidy there is a sense of peace, calmness, clarity, and it’s easier for me to focus on a given task.
"These are important to me because home should be all of the above. Otherwise you will go insane."
We realized our ideals are pretty similar. We both want clean, organized spaces.
The differences were that I want a place that’s bright, open, and natural. Matt wants a place that’s calming, personal, and operational.
These characteristics don’t conflict with one another and I think we can make all of them work together.
We then each described our actual home.
- a little cluttered
- can’t keep up
- slightly cluttered
- personally reflective
Again, we had some similarities in our descriptions.
We both agreed our place is kind of cluttered yet comfortable.
I focused on how it is hard to keep up with and disorganized where he focused on more positive aspects like how it’s friendly and reflects us personally.
This lends some insight as to why I usually initiate any house related work or projects.
We both thought about how we could get from our actual home situation to our ideal home situation.
I suggested that we:
- minimize things we don’t use/don’t bring us joy
- find a place to put each item we decide to keep
Matt suggested that we:
- need to get rid of things
Going into this I thought our perspectives and desires were going to be much more different because in the past when I have been excited to work on the house, Matt’s been less excited. What I learned is that we have very similar visions for our home and that it’s a bad idea to assume without talking about it.
In this case, after talking about it was easy to see that Matt feels like the place is more enjoyable as it is than I do, so I don’t blame him for wanting to do something more fun on the weekend than cleaning out the basement or decluttering our closets.
Today we began doing exactly those things and were both happy to do so because of this conversation!
I'd love to hear about your experience working with another person to create the living space you both can enjoy. Please let me know about it in the comments!